Saturday, April 16, 2005

Generation Rinna

Lisa Rinna starred on some sort of crappy soap opera and later she was on Melrose Place. She is married to Harry Hamlin (Clash Of The Titans). Any babies born between 1980-1994 are part of the Rinna Generation which is otherwise known as Generation Rinna.

Travel into future with Lisa Rinna and the Rinna Generation...

"There are few words to describe the sheer beauty of the twin pillows that cushion the enterance to this orifice. Botoxular maybe or then again, some bizarre amalgamation of Jagger, tyler and one of those cheap rubber rings you get at the seaside."
Crime Writer Gary Dobbs on Lisa Rinna's Lips

by Chris Miller

After many weeks with cloudy skies, Saturday came, and some sunshine finally. Jake had been indoors way too much, watching TV and taking catnaps, so he decided that today was a good day for getting out and walking someplace. He went for a stroll by himself, soaking up the warm sun. Harried thoughts persisted. He was harried because he didn’t have a woman in his life. He needed something to distract him from these worries. As he walked nearer the liquor store, he decided that a six-pack of vodka coolers might be just the distraction he needed on a humid day such as this.
Just before Jake went inside, this native fellow, assumedly soused, got up from the sidewalk where he leaned against the liquor store window and called out, “Hey, ya goz a ciganet?”
“No, I don’t smoke,” said Jake, lying.
The truth is, he didn’t like giving cigarettes or money to strangers anymore. Once in Las Vegas this scraggly bum came over asking for money and Jake intended on giving him $5 but he was really drunk and he handed him $50 by mistake. All those goddamned American bills looked alike to him. Jake learned a valuable lesson that night: never help others less fortunate than yourself. As a result, he hadn’t given money to a bum since.
“Buyin’ beer?” The native fellow sounded as though he had some severe nasal problems.
“Coolers,” he told the native fellow with the nasal problem.
Before the native fellow could say another word, the woman working at the liquor store exited. She wore jeans that accentuated her ass and a white shirt and no bra, which accentuated her breasts. Standing in the doorway of the liquor store, her shirt sort of hung open. She looked really nice standing there. Her navel was showing too, a narrow ribbon of sun-browned flesh between the top of her jeans and the bottom of her shirt.
“Louie, get the fuck out of here!” she hollered at the native fellow.
“I just borrowin’ a ciganet,” he said.
“No, no more hanging out here bumming cigarettes! I’ve had it with this shit! Next time I call the cops, got it?”
The native fellow turned, said, “Yez, I got it,” and staggered away into the daytime.
“Sorry about that,” the woman from the liquor store told Jake, running her hand through her tangle of brown hair. “I can’t get rid of that asshole. He just keeps coming back.”
“He wasn’t bothering me, really,” said Jake, as he followed her into the liquor store. The store was air-conditioned and cool inside.
Jake had been in this liquor store before but he didn’t recognize this woman. He went over to where the coolers were kept, chose a six-pack of boysenberry vodka, and returned to the till to pay. Jake drank beer mostly, but on such a hot day he figured that a sweet drink might do him good.
As he stood there, he noticed something amazing. The woman, this liquor store worker, had the most sumptuous, plump lips he had ever seen. Something sensual about her moist, soft-looking lips distracted him from everything else around. He had been concentrating so closely on her styled hair, bare navel, tits and ass that he neglected to even look at her mouth. Now, he could not help but notice those gorgeous lips.
Caught up in the moment he said, "Don't leave me, even for an hour, because then the little drops of anguish will all run together.”
“What did you say?” she asked.
The words had burst forth without him even thinking. Immediately infatuated with this woman, beyond his own control he had quoted the words to a famous line from a Pablo Neruda poem. He kept staring at the woman behind the counter. Jake thought of other lines from Neruda, but he couldn't recall how they went exactly, something about smoke roaming for a home and drifting into his heart and choking him. He had an appreciation for fine poetry but he could never remember the words. Then more words sprang to mind, and he recited them, too.
"Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach," said Jake.
The woman with the marvelous mouth ignored him this time.
As for Jake, he kept staring at her. No other woman’s mouth could compare to hers, not Angelina Jolie’s, not Uma Thurman’s, and not Traci Lords’, and certainly no porn star Jake had ever seen. She had a perfect mouth. Even if her chest were flat, she had a missing leg, and couldn't control her farts, Jake would select this woman over any other adult female in the world based exclusively on that alluring mouth of hers. He was drawn to this woman, and he wanted her all to himself
“Are you married?” asked Jake.
The woman didn’t answer right away. She scanned the barcode on the vodka coolers and told him the price, then responded, “My husband is Harry Hamlin.”
“Never heard of him. My name’s Jake.”
He expected her to reciprocate in some fashion, perhaps by stating her name for starters, but when she didn’t, Jake removed his wallet from his pocket, and found a couple of bills to pay for his liquor purchase.
“My name’s Lisa Rinna,” she said finally.
“That’s a beautiful name,” said Jake.
“I hate it,” she said.
“Yeah, well, parents do that to their children sometimes,” Jake said, as he collected his change from her delicate, out spread palm, and walked out.
On the long walk home Jake popped open a boysenberry vodka cooler and swallowed a deep pleasing mouthful. He kept walking along the sunlit sidewalk, drinking while he walked, thinking about Lisa or, more specifically, about her incredible lips. He wondered about this Harry Hamlin character. Was he anybody special? How did he ever manage to get a woman like her, with such a mouth? Did Harry know secrets about attracting women that he didn’t know? Having sex with her would probably be fabulous, too. Jake imagined fucking her. He imagined her making small noises when they fucked, her body wriggling around every which way, limbs jerking up and down on a comfortable hotel bed. Thinking about her movements excited him. More than anything, just thinking about her mouth excited him.
There was a time when all Jake wanted out of life was a luxury car, and later his goal was to live in a million-dollar house. He had other smaller wants and wishes as time went by, and he never attained any of them. He had no car, he lived in a run-down apartment, and was able to attain neither the jobs nor the women that he wanted. All of Jake’s thoughts dizzied around past events or hopes for the future. He scarcely thought of the here and now, and if he did the only reason was to borrow light from it to direct the future. He never lived, only hoped to live, and always laying himself out to find happiness, inevitably he never was happy.
Today, since meeting Lisa Rinna for the first time, Jake’s one and only desire in life was to die and come back reincarnated as her husband’s mouth, so he could feel the tangible pleasure of kissing Lisa's luscious lips. A guy could die happy, Jake was convinced, if a wish like his was ever fulfilled.


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