Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Dick & Ball Bowling Alley

by Jackie Allen Birkmore

Two paramedics discuss what they saw at the scene of a gay double murder

"I wonder where all the severed dicks and balls go when they die..."

Cool demons cruise hell in an old Ford, Stray Cats playing on the tapedeck, "Sexy and 17" and there's two twelve year old girls tied up in the back ready to go

They pull up in the McDonald's parking lot and see Jackie there with his boys and they are a cool crew

"Hey where you guys going tonight?"

"Where else? the dick & ball bowling alley?"

the cool demons cruise down hell street till they get to corner of cum and 4th and park behind Jackie's boys right under the neon sign that flashes dicks and balls all night

Jackie gets the tab and the two cool demons take the 15 year old and drop them down on the floor next to the soda machine "boy you know what I'm sayin?" said one of the demons then

"Ah'ma pick me up some Puertorican ass balls cuz they be good for knockin' down dicks with."

"Ah'm gettin me some Asian balls cause they be filled up with ball bearings and shit and you can like aim those shits perfectly like Top Gun."

The two cools demons play all night and at one point they see a black and white dick pop up

"Yo why they be a black and white dick for?"

"It be a mullato and shit?"

Then this messed up, uncomfortable looking demon with his ass crack hanging out named Deron he comes up and it says "Derondell" on his name tag and Jeremy Jordan's Right Kind of Love comes on the jukebox and he's like "what 's going on here dude?"

"Yo B, there is a black and white dick over there?"

"Shit," says Deron and walks down the alley and pi cks up the dick, "This aint no dick, some asshole took a snickers bar and painted it half white."

"Shit," all the demons laugh.


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